why don't i post regularly?

Once upon a time, a dog showed up. He thought it was cute but i wasn't ready to buy that. 'I don't want to have a dog', i said. He listened and told me to make decision. I did! And now there is 'the' conflict because that was not what he expected.

Was dog just symbol of what coming up next? Do i think of not having shared responsibility as he suggested? Too many questions but sometimes answers are the elusive ones.

When you are sad, you have plenty to rant about but then sometimes you don't.

Answers lies in question!

P.S. I hope the dog survived the night! I really do.

Setting up new life

So after few tears, more talks, little sigh, more sadness: I am slowly unpacking my life. I didn't expect this will bring tears to my mom. I had had talk with her before and she had said 'OK' but then i realise she thought I was joking but sadly i was not. But still my conversation with her is not completely true. I said 5-7 months but i didn't tell her it would long, i don't know how long. I wonder what would be the scenario if i say it's a long term decision but only thing i am doing is: not being entirely honest. May be i am afraid to confess, may be i am too afraid to be true. Trying to protect my own image as 'Good Son'. See i could be that dirty!

Anyways, about moving in.....Every time  I meet friend of mine, s/he asks me 'have you moved in yet?' to which i reply not yet. This is not a whole truth however. have we got everything we need for our room? Nope. Have we started living in, well sort of yes. This whole week, we were at our new place. But man, for all those who are planning to move in together, it's not an easy task, especially if you are setting up entirely everything new. It becomes worse when one of you is bohemian when it comes to shopping and another is the perfectionist.

I admit, I have serious shopping disorder. I get panic attack if i have to go to three shops to buy one thing and end up choosing whatever shopkeeper thrust in my hand. And Erik has everything envisioned. What colour or pattern he wants in carpet, what type of cooking ware he is looking for, dinner plates etc. And I am, 'lets see, this is nice. let's get it' kinda person. Hence, he feels he is tired of taking decision and i feel i am tired of judging between the white and creamy white. Result: both of us getting angry and irritated at each other. One point I even asked him: 'Do you think this way you can even pass one year with me?' To which he replied that once everything is settled, there is no need of shopping for long time which means no fights because of shopping list and no tantrums meaning he sees us together for not just one year or five but beyond for longer period. Fingers crossed.

So now you understand why there is no frequent posts. I am setting up and taking time. But i promise, i will be here!