Y no tell me about your orientation?

Bang: it came without any warning. I knew this day would come and we will have conversation about my orientation. But I didn't expect it to happen this way.
I was working on my mid-year performance review and she popped in. And she directly asked me about my relationship status on fb and I admitted. She asked me how different is it and i replied it's not different that the ones i had with girl (yes, long time ago). Suddenly in very eccentric way, we engaged in discussion of my orientation. Whenever people ask me about it, I am dumb. Not because i don't know, because I don't like labeling myself expect strictly required. For every work I do, it's my brain and talent works not my sexual orientation. So i prefer to sell my talent rather than my orientation unless i am specifically asked. Anyways, back to the topic: we briefly mused about my orientation.

With promise to talk more about later, we ended our conversation.

And my boss left me little disoriented, little restless, little lost.

wishing for world without the borders

First post of Month of Love. Makes me wonder how would the future folds in. How lucky would i be in love?

Currently out of the valley, far away from Erik. for work. And he is going away on Saturday. He said, 'I felt so bad that i am leaving you for 40 days but then realised it might not be that long given the situation i might not be able to live with you for 7 months a year'.

What if the world was a home, where borders are not demarcated and where no visa was needed to travel and live?

His mom is excited about us and will be here soon. I hope i could impress her, making her realise i am the best choice he ever made :-)

One day, two day... who counts anyway :)

I am supposed to finish my self-evaluation but here I am, blank as a white sheet and wondering what did I do last 12 months and how should I project it. I got few more days to finish it but there are other equally important works piling up at my desk and I helplessly look at them and tell them "soon baby, soon".

Morning began in all glory. Woke up, did some exercises, took photo of myself and noticed by abs are not that bad either but agreed I need hard workout. Reached office with excitement and then the cold killed everything. Yes temperature has gone down and my mind just froze. Being more and more worried about my own shape (everyone becomes, not only gay.... so stop being judgemental :P) I decided to avoid rice. One time rice is enough for me, I declared to myself so called my friends and told them I would join them for lunch. When I reached there, order was already done and voilà it's Spaghetti for me. I thought, all right one last time. But seeing the order they have made, I was mortified and wondered can we finish it? Can WE?

But at the end we did :)

After lunch, I thought I would again push myself for finishing the work I am supposed to. But I just can't concentrate. So I am trying to make my own list of sexiest men alive hahahaha. Your list sucks People's Mag. lol

Of course don't want to post all the list now and make you confused. Probably I should do one person at one post. How about that? Yes, I will end my future posts (not all, be warned) with the person I find so HOT hahahahaha. So here goes first person to make in my list :)

Prince Harry.

If you ask me, he is one of the hottest ginger (sorry about the word) alive in the world. He is wild, he is nasty and centre of controversy. Not because of these reasons, he made to my list but because if you closely look at him, he has that rare mixture of innocence and good looks. He is simply HOT hahahaha. Sometimes I do wonder about his sexual orientation lol. Btw Did I share my dream about him? During one of my travel I saw a dream. Apparently he had come to our home nation and we had dinner together. No idea how did i end up in royal list lol. But speak of the devil, next day paper had his story of willingness to ascent Everest and for that he might pop here during March, April. Truth or rumour, only he knows. Sometimes brain works in such a funny way.

free falling

Last 2 weeks had been quiet hectic. Constant travelling across the country, never ending wait at the airport. The unplanned strike that affected our work, but still finding way out to do at least something of what we were supposed to do. But the trip ended the best way it ever could have become. I went to another city in the east and met my friend AK. We hung out, watched movie, slept under the sun, went out to the awesome bar (mind you, we made it awesome), had wonderful time. Those 2 days were one of the best days of recent times.

Some of my friends do ask me about the chances of AK and I having relationship which sounds very flimsy. He is such a wonderful person. Probably if we hadn't met when I was in relationship or later he being in  relationship, probably things could have hit off. But now though I am single, though he is single, things haven't got any chance to move forward. Now i guess we have become more as a friend than anything else could have been. But the idea of us being together does make butterflies in my stomach and I laugh at my own silliness.

In another development, Mosby is angry with me. Why? because I did all it takes to avoid him. I always pretended (at times it was true) i am busy with work and all. And now he is angry that I didn't give him even 10 minutes but i have all the time to go for movie or dinner with friends. So I have agreed to go out to dinner with him tonight. Seriously, I am a bitch!

waiting

Yesterday was different, different because I spend whole day at the airport: waiting. No i wasn't at transit. I was at the west corner of the country and from there I had to fly to capital and again fly to the east corner. Finally we flew at 12, the flight was scheduled at 10.30. After reaching the capital airport, spent next several hours hoping we could make it. Finally they announced the flight, took us inside the plane, made us wait for another half an hour or more. And announced cancellation of flight: thanks to the bloody weather.
After managing seat in first flight next day, I was out of the airport, Thanks to the party which feels proud to be called beacon of democracy and freedom, there was strike. Apparently one of it's cadre who is involved in so much of criminal activities died after the injuries he suffered during brawl inside the jail were greater. The airport taxis were not around and normal taxi never could make it to airport. So we were there, stranded and with no idea how to go home and it was already dark. Finally i managed to convince one driver after agreeing to pay hefty amount. Probably i paid 100 rs per km or even more than that. I was glad to be home in the evening!

And today is no different. Again here i am, at the same airport and doing exactly same thing: waiting. My flight which was supposed to fly at 9 is still not showing any sight of flying and it;s almost 11 now. They cite weather conditions for the delay. No matter what the reasons are, the fact is i have turned out o  be the waiting traveler who has no where to go hahaha. Well i just added 'no where' for my own fun. :P

Except this waiting round, things are as they were before. One night Sid messaged asking me to call right away. I found out there is someone who is using my photo to hook up. I felt kinda nice that people have started using my photo but AK had different idea. He thought it could be Sid himself. I am not panicked that my photo is making round but i felt pity for the person who is doing so (if that's true). What if he found the perfect guy and wrong use of photo would just kill everything that could be a reality. Nevertheless, Sid had sent me all the phone no. but I am too tired to call and threaten him. 

Search

Reading story by someone you know: suddenly you start to look if you are there in bits and pieces. Same thing happened today as i kept on reading and searching myself there. To some extent, i found myself there but in obscure way.

Was out and running out of the story: hence no more blog posts in last week. Don't have any story now as well. Just that I feel I am giving Mosby a false dream and trying to repair that. How, i don't know. Avoiding him wouldn't do good i guess which i had thought I would do. I had told him I won't be in the city for 3 weeks and will manage to meet only during Xmas. This wasn't totally wrong, I would be here for 2 and half days between that period which i didn't mention him. Then I felt bad for him and ultimately told him I am back. Hastily he asked out for dinner which I decline not because I didn't want that because I felt I was too tired. Later I turned down dinner plan with my own friends as well. But probably I will meet him for dinner tomorrow. Let's see.
The reason I am trying to get away from him is: I don't feel anything for him and his feelings are getting more stronger. He was telling about his dinner plan with one guy who helped him at the airport and I teased him saying I won't mind if they end up in bed but he laughed and said He would mind, not because that guy is not hot but because he wants to be with me only. That awkward moment and you don't know how to react: Yes i had that moment. I am really scared things might just go out of the hand leaving him bruised and blue. Any ideas except the idea suggested by AK?

More travel plans coming up. Would be travelling to the west of the country and with few hours of layover at the capital again will fly to the eastern part. Hopefully the year will end in high note, finding that thing I am searching for!

friends are here.

Talking to each other for more than 6 months, someone to whom you feel comfortable enough to share your pains and gains and finally meeting him and spending night out (jeez, don't use your dirty mind). It was more wonderful than I had imagined it would be. Talking till late night, hearing his stories (again in person), telling my stories, bitching about some people, talking about wishes and thoughts, watching movie and getting sense of someone will be there as I feel his warmth and emotions. Probably we slept hardly for 3 hours but still I feel super fresh and hopefully he does feel same. The perfect thing about the whole thing was: It was pure friendship emotions and nothing else.
Yes I am in travelling mode again. This time it will be for a week, checking out Eastern Beauty :P

day of complain

A week has passed since i wrote last time. There was weekend and then work, needed to finish one big report: something that i can proudly say I did it. The report took most of the time, preventing me from working on dissertation proposal. Oh i made that up myself because in the evening i was free but chose not to write. Anyway, now by coming week, i need to finish my proposal and submit to the university. If i don't do it now, then my plan will go down the water road.
But it aint that easy as i had thought. First it became herculean task to understand and  use citation system. I worked for almost 7 hours today on this bloody proposal, still i hardly manage to complete 30% of work. I hope that's 30% :( Its gonna take much longer time that I had imagined. My back is hurting and I seriously need help!!! F1, F1 please

Also the internet has become crap these days, thank you wlink. The connection goes on and off, with a whim of the lord wlink and when I complain at their customer service, I get same answer: please turn off power to the wireless antenna, restart your system, wait for 5 minutes then only connect again. Today I snapped back saying I know what to do, if you have anything else do tell me. Poor guy, he gave different answer saying "we need to visit and see, i will send someone". No, that someone didn't come and I don't expect to come as well. After all its all words or did the customer people hear my answers I gave to their surveyor? I tried to be good and give them high marks for the customer service but I ended up putting more questions and complains haha. So, seems someone is in revenge mood then. I will be saying: Bring it on hahahaha

Oh btw did I mention, I am becoming more wise soon. Yes, B'day is coming up!

2 cent of thought

My boss is pissed off these day. Reason: press coverage of how foreigners are working without due permit. Apparently no one in INGO sector knows that you need to get work permit to work in my country (weird, i know) but since the surfacing of report, everyone is in reaction mood. We suggested, don't react. Comply with the legal process and then probably you should be speaking.

But report itself is good except few factual errors.

:)

Just a whisper of yours saying I love you brings butterflies in my stomach and takes me somewhere beyond. Yes, you cannot see the smile it brings on my face. Call me silly or stupid, that's how I am :)

I have reached the raining city. The weather is still hot. I thought when i was here in September few years back, temperature was much better as it is now. Looking forward for friday when my gang joins me bringing laughter and happiness. Wish you don't hate the raining city and be here instead.

More posts later, promise.

procrastination

Sometimes i feel this is the worst habit of mine: Procrastination. I end up pushing up deadlines, assignments and all but just watch movies, roam around, sleep and do nothing but just stare  blankly. A month back i had wrote a post about the resort days. Well i wasn't there for vacation but for work purpose and I have to prepare report but still except few lines, nothing has happened. Even now, the report document is opened but here I am, writing this post instead. After that workshop, such another workshop happened and then there was my travel to mid-west of the country and tomorrow travelling to central south:: for more than a week. When could I finish writing these reports. After coming back I need to focus on writing report (hopefully it will have my name :P) that needs to be published soon. Or should I just hire consultant for writing hahahaha. But i need to use my own pocket money lol.

On other note, observing my lengthy travels one of my friend make remarks regarding Sid and me. She said "seems someone's love life will be in peril because of travels and work". And i realized its true as I am travelling a lot and he is also busy in his work we haven't have good time for us. This week after my return, we met on Monday and went for a movie (Kungfu Panda 2) which was ok. He had already seen it. Then Tuesday i was home, taking rest. On Wednesday and Thursday was busy with b'day celebrations of my friend and my beloved nephew. And tomorrow again I am travelling for more than a week. So I have got today only to spell out my mind to him in person.

Single life is more interesting sometimes as you don't have to worry about anyone.

travel days are almost over

yes, still around, alive and kicking. Was out of hustle and bustle of my hometown for almost 2 weeks. Went to various places ranging from hot humid place to cold place (alright i admit not that cold either). I am still on my way back to home and my stupid data card didn't work as it was promised in the beginning, Damn you company. And then later there wasn't internet except in cyber and I was too busy to go there.

during these 2 weeks, i met interesting people and heard their interesting stories. Met people who were forcibly taken to construct road by the Maoists during insurgency, heard the conflict stories that were scary, saw youth who had learning attitude problems, met few frank bureaucrats, saw simplicity and good hearts of people, saw the development and it's effect. It will take ages to explain all i have seen.

Well this is just update post to let you know what i have been doing or where i was. More will follow, i promise!

the resort days

I am in this fabulous resort near the town. Yes, yes it's official trip otherwise i just can't afford the tariff haha :P. From our partners perspectives,this is supposed to be fun as the name suggest otherwise but only we know how intensive it could be. So 3 days here already and I was hoping I could go back tomorrow but now I have to spend one more night here.

Though no matter how fabulous the resort is, but it has worst customer service. Probably because many customers come here and mostly occupied. But whatever the reason, I am not happy. When I arrived here, in email, I was told that welcome drink would be served upon arrival. After me, my colleagues and partners got the room keys, we waited for our drink and the front desk officer said, 'I have already given you room keys, why are waiting here instead of going to room?' That question pissed me off and I hit back saying WE ARE WAITING FOR THE WELCOME DRINKS. I know that sounded so silly but I didn't expect that question from him, so I used my authority to have drink and i DID :P

Environment here is awesome. Peace and serene place. I thought i will go jogging or use gym, but i always feel lazy to sleep till 7 or 7.30 and it's already time for the workshop to begin. Anyway I managed to swim for a while and realized how much stamina I have which was poor hahaha. I swam across the pool once and backstroke twice from breadth. And i was so tired. (Jeez I am embarrassed now). now in the room, killing mosquitoes that came in when my friend asked to open doors for meditation. I love working in my sector :)

Free food, free travel and free resort visits :P

to do list

It's a fact: I love making "to-do-list" but i don't seem to heed on it.

As soon as i reached my desk, i made to-do-list for today. Trust me, it became a long list. Some reports, some training workshop plans, some briefing papers, few papers to edit/proof read. One of our interns asked would i be able to meet them?

As the curtain falls down signalling end of the day, i looked back at the list and i seem to manage doing 1% of the list i prepared. Holy crap, the work keeps piling up and I keep making long list.
Damn you internet.

The to-do-list doesn't only includes office work but also some college assignments and i-will-study-this stuffs. Yes i have enrolled myself in a university and trying to pursue some degree. I have always been late in my assignment submission and it's also piling up. Phew.

What do you do with your to-do-list?