unsettled me!

Something about you is unsettling me, makes me think more than i should. Trouble is you or me, i am yet to find out.

But then again, your smile and a soft kiss seems to make everything alright, at least for a while.

things like this and that

After so many days, trying to write but miserably failing. Self-censorship is bad, always. 

cheers to life

Probably when you are all right, not suffering from low moments then you got nothing much to write and hence, the blog becomes inactive. Now also i don't have much to tell or share, after all sad emotions make good stories hahaha.

We are back from our holidays. Some open secrets were revealed, promises were made. Overall except few here and there, life is wonderful. Read a lot of books in between. Finished 1Q84, The Hobbit. Read half of The Lord of the rings: The fellowship of the ring. Found Shantaram and now somewhere in the middle.
Back to home, even after 4 months of moving in, still we don't have curtains hahaha. yes, we haven't got the curtains and still we are okay :)

P.S. work is okay. 

strangers

sometimes all things don´t go well with your dream vacation. Now after uncomfortable night: here we are, like two strangers in a bed, wondering how to face the day ahead.

Life's a Barfi

One more week and we will unite again, not here in Kathmandu but somewhere in India. I am all excited and worried at same time. Travelling could be stressful at times (holidays are not always as shown in advertisements after all). Just hope it will a smooth flow. But nevertheless, idea of reuniting with him just makes butterflies in my tummy. Sometimes i wonder am i being mad in puppy love hahaha. Why i feel so, i have never ever felt so strongly about anyone. This time i have become everything i could barely imagine: possessive (not always), weak, jealous, strong ... all the emotions you could think of have taken over me at one point or another.

Whatever it is, I wish it would never end and even if we have ending, it would be a happy ending and we will always find a way to enjoy it. Just like Barfi. Yes, finally saw the movie and loved it. Loved it for it's story telling, cinematography, performances and what not. I hope we all have that strength to take things as they come and live every day with smile and happiness. Here's one more song of Barfi :)

two travels: the differences

He is away, travelling. To say 'hello mom, i am home again' and meet his friends, attend weddings and do more work for organization he is now officially working. I am here, working and waiting for end of the September. No, i don't have plans to go and wake up Green Day band. We both are meeting at Delhi in early October and explore India. Sad we couldn't make Europe trip not because they didn't give me visa, because we thought we couldn't make the trip because of various reasons and suddenly his organization agreed to give him ticket for home once a year - Early X'mas for him :)

Honestly this time i feel calm though he is not around me. Last time, i was restless from the beginning of his trip. I was unsure how his travel to Thailand and beyond would affect our relationship as that place was notorious for sex tourism and honestly i was afraid this could change whole dynamics. I wasn't trusting him entirely and i had reasons for not doing so. It had been barely a month since our first meeting and were still in phase of knowing each other. Though i trust him for his answers but I don't know what happened there entirely and i never thought of pursuing the question as well. But once he got back i realised how his feeling towards me had grown  stronger and has changed us since then. As a result; we welcomed  his parents and they loved me, we moved in and all of our friends are happy for us. Yes, sometimes we even wonder if marriage is what our next step would be; but then again we both laugh at the idea of getting married :)

This time, i am much more relaxed and happy for him. Probably it's true when he told me i am not worried and sad because i know where his loyalties and love lie. Knowing him had made me realise so many things in my life: my fears, my strength, my dreams and what not. It's not that earlier relationship didn't make me feel so, but this time intensity is just much higher and stronger. Cheesy thing to say: probably this time i am seriously involved, for the first time in my life and i am ready to experiment whatever it takes or comes on the way to find that elusive thing called happyness.  

Enough of my silly musings, about the India trip: Still not sure which part of India to visit. Planning going on, listening and asking people's opinion. Hope this would be an beginning of our travel fun. Probably it will be Rajasthan and beyond. Let's see where we end up.

how things work for the perfect world?

Last week was a whirlwind week; it began with fight and almost nearly ended with fight. Yes, living with someone is not easy task. I wonder how our parents did it for such a long time. I came home from office, hungry and slightly irritated. Erik asked me to bring dinner and I was asking him what he prefers and it irritated him. I brought chicken, not cut into pieces but a big part, and he said he do not want to eat as he can't see how chicken body parts are dismembered. Hence more irritation and more anger. And we ate dinner in silence and making up for fights afterwards but probably the bad vibes remained somewhere. With on and off irritated moments the week passed on and again it blasted off on Thursday night. Erik has developed a habit of watching a movie or documentary to go to sleep and reluctantly I agreed. As we were watching movie, like always, he began playing with his iphone not even looking at the movie much. It irritated me a lot and he had done it before as well. So I barked at him and he got pissed of. He accused me of trying to control him which further infuriated me. Both of us were irritated and angry and I went to sleep without even talking more....... wondering if we have done everything fast. He came to me, apologized, we talked, solved out and made out same night. Next day and night it was all good and then I left the town for the work.

Now I am far far away from him, before he goes away for a month to his home. Then we will meet somewhere in delhi to explore India. But the question of rushing keeps coming back in my head. Is this how everyone goes through when they are living together or is it us who are having this. Yes, life is not Disney movie with happy moments only but again sometimes you just feel why things are not near perfect.

I just hope these are phases we go through before we create magical moments. Hope for the best.