the fight

The rain comes............ I wait for it with mixtures of anger and sadness. The rain drops start to fall, soaking me.... I look around, still he is nowhere. Then i got his call, asking me where I am.

After few minutes, I see him running towards me with all the things that we had bought earlier. The rain has completely drenched him from head to toe, still he is least bothered but looking for me. My anger vanishes, something warm overpowers me. I run towards him.

In the middle of the Patan, in the midst of rainfall that looks like in mood of playing cats and dogs game, I hold his hand. He looked at me, said how sorry he is, hugged me tightly and said I love you. 


All i could do was: smile at him, hug him more tightly and whisper: I love you too and I am sorry as well.


And we waited for rain to stop. 

who has got the visa?

Yay, it's Erik.

Finally he got a year long study visa.

But sadly right after it, we had a big spat on broad day light at Thamel, with everyone looking at us. But we have moved beyond that fight now, hopefully it won't repeat again!

<3 for all those who read and sympathized me during this difficult period!

fear of being together

Have you ever found yourself in catch-22 situation of wanting to be together with your loved one and yet same time fear of doing so? Well, I am having one of those moments. As I mentioned earlier, Erik has asked me to move in with him if everything goes well and he gets long-term visa (fingers crossed for visa). To tell you the fact, since last week he has been staying over at my place. But living together is not as easy as seeing for few hours a day. You see the worst side, best side of the person: whether you like it or not. I have this fear, what if we both got tired of eachother? Except for few outburst of irritations, we got along really well. But living together every day and night??? Hmmmmmm

Also how do i break this news to my MOM? She might be very liberal to accept me but accept the fact that her son would leave the house and go live with someone else? how would she react to the idea? How do i juggle between these two world?

Still scenario looks faraway, but it scared me for sure!

In another news, I added my super-boss on fb. She must have got spanner seeing my relationship status. lol :P I love surprising people!

what's there to hide?

After we went public on facebook with our relationship,  i wonder what's there to hide and be ''anonymous'' here? But i guess the fun is I am being anonymous to Erik himself. (big green laughter). Yes i haven't told him about this blog and i don't intend to. If i did, then what's fun in whining about him sometimes. So you might be wondering, reactions to being public?

Strange people are not brave enough to ask question to the concerned even if they are dying with curiosity. But yes my friends got lot of quizzes and questions: at one point one of my friends told me 'pay me to be your personal assistant' to which i replied 'tell them, our policy do not allow to talk about private/personal issues. Please refer to fb post for any of your queries'. It would be fun :P Anyways, those who chose to ask me, I am telling them 'YES'. 

How do i feel about it? Calm, Peace and happy. But still I haven't got the guts to spill out to mom and Erik says 'I don't think your mom views me as your just friend'. Wish i could tell her ASAP but probably before we make another giant move.

Apart from getting inner peace in telling the world, another  light is seen at the end of the tunnel, finally. Erik's visa seems to be in reach. He has enrolled in university and now he will get letter from the university  (tomorrow to be precise), requesting Education ministry to write another recommendation to Immigration for visa. Hopefully without any fuss, Immigration will give him visa for one year. After all, he got no objection letter from his consulate easily unlike last time. Another weird thing is, apparently TU never ask such 'no objection letter' for other students but to Spanish. Confusing bureaucracy. 

more than a year older...

nothing much to say!
nothing much to remember!!

The i realise it's been over a year since i started to write whatever i feel like. As i become nostalgic today then it hit me.......
shows how much i have been occupied with him. Spend last 5 days with him. Thanks to Bandh, we did nothing expect playing with the bed; sleeping, teasing, watching movies, working, yawning, laughing, fighting, loving, shouting, regretting, kissing, cooking, eating, dish-washing, talking, walking, planning, dreaming, thinking, making, reading, writing, waiting, playing, chatting, cursing, skyping, and yada, yada.....

last 5 days says: probably we can live together without much drama. As one of my friend put it: we were practicing to learn how to live together :P

Arrival of the summer

The summer is here!

Temperature has risen above 30 for sure bringing sweats everywhere :P And I don't like the idea of travelling to hot, humid place during this time. Not that i intend to go somewhere, except probably in September. If all goes well, I might say hello España. Fingers crossed for sure!

Last week, Erik and I had our emotions full on display. In summary; we had our fight. He was just irritated at something and was snapping me on everything. I had enough of it and told flatly that probably we need to have a talk, about the unseen but growing discomfort between us. As i prepared to leave, leaving him space and time to think of what his next step would be, he asked me to stay. With sadness in his eyes, he asked for forgiveness and told one cheesy line 'When i have arguments with you and then i realize how much more i love you'. I just laughed at his silly answer yet i stayed. We talked about the issue and guess we are done for good with it. And yesterday, I accidentally read his chat with his friend where he had shared that he is quiet serious about us. I just got overwhelmed. Of course i felt bad that i read it, but i felt quiet nice to know how he feels about me.

Just hope this summer brings more happiness and solutions to our probable cause of miseries including the visa!

scary moments

There comes the moment when both of you snap at eachother. Both of you try to find the reason to build your argument often leading to cold atmosphere with volley of questions, answers, disapproval and more reasons. After a while you realize, are you playing it too strong or is it he who is playing strong. Either way two types of fear crop in your head: 1. How can i spend rest of my life with such person wondering if such situations would keep arising in future and 2. what if this argument leads to a bigger argument resulting in a chaos?

He chose the restaurant for dinner and i didn't have patient to wait for table to be free. Next restaurant same: he left saying it's full like before. Finally I chose the restaurant which was thankfully empty but then argument flared over the menu. I could sense his annoyance and i couldn't just stand there doing nothing about it. I spoke of it and we ended up discussing (not heated and loud one: it was more controlled and measured one) and evaluating whole scenario each trying to seek answer out of it. It must have been a perfect drama scene for waiter wondering what these two boys are discussing about.

Yes, dinner was little cold but at least we ate with smile!