The marriage

Sometimes i wonder what's wrong with gay people, why they have to try extra hard to fit into existing social structure. My argument is: Being gay, they already rebel to existing idea of loving your opposite sex. So why not continue with the rebelling?

Sid mentioned about his gay friends getting married. I understand there is immense pressure and blackmailing, probably sometimes leading you to agree to the idea of getting married. But would marriage solve the problem: problem of loving someone of your own sex? I beg to differ on it. No matter what, if you are not bisexual, it's very unlikely that you could have a happy marriage. Sid's friend got divorced, lucky his wife turned out to be drug abuser and well she herself also invited trouble to the marriage. But if she wasn't drug abuser, would things be solid and happy? I have heard/read/seen many people who are perfectly gay and still in perfectly (from outside) happy marriage life. But is it worth to experiment putting yourself, your lover's and your to-be-wife's happiness in risk of jeopardy?

I asked Sid (since he is also closeted) whether he would see himself married to a girl. To my dismay his answer was "I don't know. Probably!". I wanted to scream at him but hold the idea. Things haven't been so serious that i start talking about US. Yes, even i am closeted but at least i have made up my mind that i will come out to my family within this year and I will never ever get married to a girl unless I really fall in love with her. But paradox here is: I do not believe in institution of marriage.

Moving back to my topic: how could you expect to get married to someone you don't even love or can never love. And still you think you are forced to take that decision because of your parents. To hell with those parents who love their values, tradition and society more than their own blood. I have straight forward idea: I will leave and be on my own than give up and get married under pressure.

Should i take this conversation with Sid regarding marriage as a warning sign: to hold myself back and get out of the relation ASAP? Or should i take this opportunity to make him believe that you have to stand for yourself and no one will do that for you. If you don't, it means in a way you are slowly cradling towards known grave (who knows its possible).

Morning shows the day. But don't know what my day would look alike. Seriously!

UPDATE: Probably i was just over-reacting. I thought about it later as well and realized that when people are offered situation they haven't faced yet they are likely to answer with things they might not do. He might not say "I don't know, Probably!" but replace it with "No I won't and I am happy to find someone" when he has to face the real situation. My strong argument for this is: if he would give up, he could have been married for long (Gawd, he is already 33). He hasn't given up and he won't give up on me so easily :)